Why I'm Not Worried About My TED Coming Back

For so many years, thyroid eye disease (TED) took over all my thoughts. It was my main source of worry and concern in my daily life. I was obsessed with anxiety about every aspect of this disease.

Here’s why I am not worried about TED coming back into my life now.

One and done

The biggest reason why I no longer think about or worry over TED any more are my steady lab results. My thyroid doctor has reminded me over many visits that my consistent labs are indeed a sign TED is not in my future. Her confidence in the disease being gone gave me reassurance to not obsess over it anymore.

TED can be a one and done disease. You get it once, it messes up your life for a few years, then it quietly fades away. Some people need surgery, some people do not. Everyone’s journey is different. Knowing that it does not always come back once you get it gives me hope.

Obsessive thoughts

How am I feeling? What does this change mean? Am I getting better? What is happening to my body? Why do I have no control over what’s happening to me? These were the questions I thought a million times over as I was going through the active phase of TED.

Once my symptoms went away, so did my obsessive thoughts about this disease. It was an out of sight out of mind situation for me. If I no longer dealing with the disease on a daily basis, I no longer had to think about it.

Tired: Cannot use my energy worried thyroid eye disease will come back

To be completely honest, I just got tired of thinking about it. For 3 years, it consumed my every day. Every decision I made, whether it be what I wore or where I went, I had to consider how my eyes would be impacted.

I would take so many selfies to track any changes in how they looked, it was overwhelming. There are videos in my camera roll where I would track if my eyes were moving in sync. After my symptoms went away, I scrolled back through my camera roll and deleted most of those photos. I did not want them coming up in my memories. Some moments, especially the ones that make me feel uncomfortable just by looking at them, are better left in the past.

Focusing on the positives

Of course, if something ever does come up in the future, such as any symptoms come back for more than a day or something needs to be treated when it comes to my eyes, I will think about it again. I will probably obsess over it again. But unless it comes up, I am not going to spend any more of my time worrying about what could happen.

As long as I keep taking my medication every morning, feeling consistently good, and go to my annual thyroid appointments, I see no point in worrying over TED.

My eyes feel just as close to the way they did pre-TED. I will happily take that as a win and move forward. This was a defining chapter in my life but it is not the definition of my life, not in the slightest.