The 5 Stages: Coping With a New Diagnosis

A diagnosis of a temporary condition, like the common cold, may be annoying and require some brief changes such as getting extra rest and drinking more fluids. But what about a diagnosis that changes your life forever?

Receiving a diagnosis of a chronic condition, like thyroid eye disease (TED), can feel frustrating, ominous, and often confusing. It can be one of the most overwhelming of life's experiences and lead to a roller coaster of emotions.

The 5 stages of grief that are typically associated with death or loss also apply to beginning your journey with a chronic condition. Understanding these stages can help you manage the various feelings that come with a life-changing diagnosis.

Coping with a new thyroid eye disease diagnosis

In the 1960s, psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross identified 5 stages of grief after a loss. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Not everyone who has been diagnosed with a chronic condition will experience all of these stages. Some may not experience any of the stages, and some may experience them in different orders.¹

Denial

In the first stage of grief, you may find yourself rejecting your TED diagnosis. You may seek out second opinions from other doctors, hoping that the diagnosis is incorrect. You may research the disease to try to refute their diagnosis. You may even decide not to share the news with your loved ones in hopes that the diagnosis is not correct.¹

You may find yourself saying things such as “That doesn’t sound right” or “There must be another explanation.”

Anger

You might then move into the anger stage. Or you might skip the denial stage and instead experience anger first.

A TED diagnosis may make you want to yell, scream, or punch a pillow. You may feel resentment toward others who do not have the condition and who do not understand what it is like to live a day in your shoes. You may feel annoyed or mad at your family members, your coworkers, or the stranger in front of you at the grocery store.¹

In this stage, you may even feel anger toward yourself. You may say things like “This isn’t fair!”¹

Bargaining

The third stage of grief is known as bargaining. The bargaining stage is about trying to regain some of the control you may feel you lost when you received the diagnosis. Some people may try to negotiate with a higher power to help wrangle the thoughts they are having.

You may say such things as “If you make this go away, I promise to...” You may wonder whether if you had done something differently or if you promise to change certain ways, the diagnosis would change.

Depression

This stage is about grieving the loss of your current self or former self. You may feel sad if you are not able to do things you did before. You may even develop physical symptoms like pain or trouble sleeping.¹

This stage can be easy to fall into and hard to get out of. Depression can sometimes overtake you. During this stage, it may be helpful to seek support from others. This could be close friends or family or a licensed professional.

Acceptance

Arriving at the stage of acceptance may take some time. But there comes a point when you will “make peace” with your TED diagnosis and realize that it does not define who you are.

In this stage, you have a much better understanding of the condition. You learn methods of coping with it and how your new life can be with the condition. When you embrace the inevitable, you open doors that can lead to understanding and even new opportunities.

Whether you experience 1 stage or all 5 stages, remember that these feelings are normal as you process how the diagnosis will affect your day-to-day and long-term goals. There is no set time limit for each stage.¹

Embrace the stages of grief, and learn how to use them to help you guide the physical, emotional, and psychological journey of your new diagnosis. Remember that on this journey you are NOT alone. Others have walked this journey before you and are there to serve as companions on this emotional roller coaster.

Never be afraid to ask for help here in our community. There are always people who are listening and are here for you!

Share with the community

Did you experience the 5 stages of grief upon being diagnosed with TED? Share your story of how you handled your diagnosis and what advice you might give to someone beginning on this new path.