Thoughts On Bangs

When I finally decided to cut bangs, I did not overthink it. Years of tucking my hair behind my ears because of my thyroid eye disease (TED) caused me to grow trepidatious about cutting bangs again. While my eyes are no longer sensitive like they once were, I questioned whether or not they could handle bangs that I couldn’t push back so easily.

History with bangs

I love bangs. I first cut bangs as a kid after I noticed how cool the women around me looked with bangs. I was very much influenced by the people I was around. I liked how cool a woman looked when they had bangs and how they could change her face entirely. My mom had bangs, my teachers had bangs. I just wanted to look cool too.

I remember sitting in the chair at Great Clips the first time I got side bangs. I looked in the mirror and felt as though I met a side of myself I hadn’t seen. It was exciting for me to know I could pull off a look I admired and envied in others.

Over the years, I'd get bangs then quickly grow them out, never truly giving them a chance. Honestly, they’re a lot of work and they grow out after. The year before I developed TED, I had bangs and a bob. It was a look I don’t know if I would repeat again. But I was lucky in the fact that my eyes were constantly irritated, my bangs had grown to the point where they no longer hung in my face.

No hiding behind bangs with TED

The one nice thing about bangs is that they can be a distraction from minor details that can be covered with hair. Scars on the skin or imperfect eyes are less noticeable with bangs. Oftentimes, it changes how someone looks at you and how you look at yourself.

Bangs can be a good way of hiding too. It’s a safety blanket, a way of blending in insecurities. You can distract the mind from the imperfections you think everyone notices but you only notice because they’re on your face.

I never once thought about getting bangs when my TED symptoms were at their strongest. I could not hide behind my hair because my eyes would be irritated if I did. They were already irritated enough from this disease, I didn’t want to intentionally give them one more reason to not feel good.

Going through with the decision

As the hair stylist is cutting my hair, I have no thoughts in my brain. I thought about it for so long leading up to this change that my brain is empty. I have been ready for something different -now it’s here, I am getting bangs.

After the bangs are cut, I am kind of in shock. I was so used to seeing myself with the same boring hairstyle that to see myself with bangs was very surreal. But I am also really happy to prove myself wrong. I had bangs and my eyes could handle it. A new chapter started that day. It was a long time coming.