You feel how you feel, and that's how it feels to you. I always say this, especially when people say things like how lucky or unlucky I am or that old chestnut - "I could never live with what you live with." Well, yes, you could, cause you'd have to - we don't have a choice! However you are feeling is personal to you and if it's the worst time you've ever felt, than that's what it is! Just know that however you are feeling is right, there is no wrong, and if you need help or to chat we are always here. Keep on keepin' on, DPM