Reminders of TED

The other day, I experienced a really bad migraine. It was so bad that I had to lie down in my bed for two hours because it hurt to move. I had not had one like this in years. It was on the left side. My left upper eyelid is behind my right upper eyelid in coming back down. I thought maybe that had something to do with this sudden migraine along with the stress I was feeling at the time.

Eye pain: a reminder of thyroid eye disease

Later, after the migraine pain had mostly subsided, I put on some eye cream. When I pressed on my left upper eyelid, I felt some remanence of the pain that had forced me to lie down and try to sleep until the coffee and ibuprofen set into my body and took the pain away. It was sharp, it felt like something would press into my brain when I would press into my eyelid. I did not miss this pain one bit.

A few weeks ago, I was at work when my right eye randomly got irritated. Something got in it, hair, eyelash, or a small piece of dry skin but that was enough to send my eyes into a tailspin. They filled up with water and I could not see. I had to use an eyewash sink to see again.

It was awful and hard to explain to my boss and co-workers. Luckily they were okay with me leaving for a second to take care of my eyes because that has only happened once in the almost year that I have been at this job. It is a rare occurrence in my daily life now but it used to happen multiple times a week, sometimes a few days in a row.

Glimmers of double vision

Recently, I have noticed small glimmers of double vision coming back. The moon was subtly two at first glance one night after work. I had to focus on it for it to return to its normal single form. Lights floating underneath each other. It all happens so quickly that I sometimes question if I am seeing two of the lights above me or if it is my brain playing tricks on me by reminding me of how my life used to be. I am pretty sure it is the former but it still makes me wonder.

Reminders of TED, not alarms

All of these symptoms once piled on top of each other, causing my life to be extremely uncomfortable, reminding me of how I used to live. In constant anticipation of the next moment that would be out of my control. In a very unhealthy fight or flight mode with a disease (TED), I could not stop or control.

Now when I experience them individually, I remind myself that I have grown beyond that reality. I am no longer anticipating the next episode of pain. These symptoms are very minor, in both intensity and time, and I try not to question what they mean. My body has been through a lot. I am not experiencing any of them often at all. Let them be a reminder, not an alarm bell for my anxiety to spiral into what I am not experiencing.

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