Wedding Reflection

Recently, my sister got married. I was her maid of honor. Being her maid of honor reminded me just how far I have come in my thyroid eye disease (TED) journey.

Limits from thyroid eye disease in the past

When having TED, I felt very limited in what I could do. I could not wear makeup because my eyes were too sensitive. I could not walk outside without sunglasses and a hat because I would be blinded by the light. I navigated unfamiliar spaces knowing at any moment I could bump into anything. I was hyper-aware of the way I moved in my reality. I made my life very small in order to try to control my eyes, which felt entirely out of control.

Attending a wedding with TED

Makeup

For the first time ever, I had a professional makeup artist do my makeup for my sister’s wedding. When she looked at my eyes, the first thing she asked was, "What’s going on with your eyes? Do you have allergies?" Not in a shaming way, but she was curious.

My eyes are unique. They do not look like the average eyes. They can be red. One eyelid is higher than the other. They are a little puffy at times. I tried to tell her about TED in a quick answer. I do not think she was paying attention to my answer, she did not bother to ask what TED is. I didn’t push either.

"You don’t have any dark circles," she said while putting concealer under my eyes. Not a comment I was anticipating but I guess that is a plus.

I opted out of the fake eyelashes. I did not want to put any weight on my eyelids if I did not absolutely need to. Instead, I went with a winged eyeliner look. It gave the illusion of wearing a lot of makeup without having to feel like I was wearing a lot of makeup.

No glasses

The ceremony was outside. Luckily for me, it was an overcast spring day which made being outside without my glasses on a little easier. There was a slight breeze but it was not too sunny. Light can be a little overwhelming still. Not unbearable or blinding like it was. I can go outside with only sunglasses and be fine. But the overcast definitely made the situation better for me.

After the ceremony, I got a lot of comments from people saying it looked like I was crying the whole time. While it was an emotional moment and I did tear up a few times, I was not emotional the way I had appeared to people. I think it was just the way I was squinting from being outside without anything protecting my eyes.

As soon as the ceremony and pictures were over, I put on my glasses, changed into sneakers, and grabbed a drink. Putting on my glasses, I instantly felt more comfortable. Finally, I felt a little more like me.

Dancing the night away

From the moment the music started up until the last song, I was on my feet dancing with my friends and family. I am not the best dancer but I have a lot of fun when I do it. I did not run into people or feel uncomfortable the way I would have, had this been a few years ago. Even with a few drinks, I was able to hold my own and not think about my eyes.

All the hyper-awareness around my eyes, around people, and being in foreign spaces, was no longer a problem. Even the strobe lights were not bugging me. It took a long time to get here but I felt very grateful to be in the present moment. The past remained where it was supposed to be.

Attending social events with thyroid eye disease

Have you recently attended a wedding or another large social event? How did you feel before, during, and after the experience? Share your experience with thyroid eye disease by clicking the button below.